Memoirs of an Emotional Fish

As I reflect on 2025, I am filled with so much gratitude and awe for the transformative journey I’ve experienced. This year was truly the Year of the Snake…a powerful symbol of shedding old skin, rebirth, deep intuition, and embracing my sensual feminine energy. My intention for 2025 was to embody these qualities, and little did I know, the snake energy would hit me full force, guiding me through a year of profound growth and renewal.

January: A Bold New Beginning  
Kicking off the year, I was hustling with working seven days a week, adding a part-time gig at Roller Express. From working as a roller rink guard, to my busy Massage Therapist schedule. Despite the busy grind, I co-hosted a potent Full Moon ceremony, and shared a joyful moment on Breakfast Television with 10 of my rollerskate pals. It was a month of stepping into my power and celebrating my passions.

February: Reconnecting & Rejuvenating 
February was all about “Self Love” and movement. I challenged myself with a daily mobility routine, reignited my Community Breathwork and Reiki events, and focused on nurturing inner worlds with self love. It was a month of reconnecting with my body and spirit.

March: Celebrating My Birth Month  
My birthday month was vibrant with boxing, dancing, rollerskating, and high-energy CycleBar spin classes. The Elements Rollerskate Dance workshops ignited my rollerskate passion for movement, and attending a burlesque show sparked a new desire to explore my sensual side. It was a celebration of femininity and freedom.

April: Nature & Self-Development
A peaceful escape to visit my best friend up North reminded me of the importance of disconnecting. It was all about no phones, no social media, just nature and heartfelt conversations. I upgraded my professional skills with a facial Brazilian Lymphatic Drainage course and enjoyed a lively rollerskate party “Roller Dance” in Montreal that was beyond fun.

May: Embracing Femininity & Connection 
After attending Gabor Maté’s inspiring talk deepened my understanding of trauma, addiction, and stress. May was filled with celebrations, outdoor skating sessions, and fundraisers for causes close to my heart. Dancing and just feeling the music reminded me of the cathartic power of femininity and freedom.

June: Joy & Creativity 
June was a whirlwind of creativity! From filming a music video with my rollerskate gal pals, attending Frankie J’s house dance workshop, and co-hosting a Summer Solstice event. I guided 15 women through a breathwork journey at Turkey Point, celebrated Pride with my gay bestie, and felt SO alive with energy, love, and full of purpose. It was a month of feeling good, and looking good from inside & out.

July: Inner Child & Adventure 
Me and my besties challenged ourselves with daily kettlebell swings! I flew to London, England for the “Roll On” rollerskating festival. Truly, an unforgettable adventure that pushed me beyond my limits, and expanded my horizons. This trip was a highlight, fueling my love for rollerskating, new experiences and worldwide friendships.

August: Play & Passion
Jump rope challenges, pool parties, food festivals, and skate sessions made August a summer to remember. Seeing Chris Brown live in concert was the perfect cherry on top! I embraced the joy of life and embraced my playful, sensual side.

September: Strength & Healing
I challenged myself to “30 day Dead Hang” challenge. I pushed my physical boundaries, reaching a personal best of 2:30. I explored Crystal Healing through taking a course, and continued my journey of self-care and reflection. I hosted more Community Breathwork and Reiki events.

October: Resilience & Reconnection
I finished a “Plank Challenge” and held a personal best time of 9 minutes. I took another retreat to visit my bestie to reconnect with nature and recharge. I took another Crystal Healing course, which deepened my spiritual practice, and continued nurturing my mind and body.

November: Balance & Self-Care
A daily yoga practice became my anchor during busy season, even as I faced health challenges and energy dips. Despite setbacks, I celebrated my love for rollerskating with friends, and honored my need for rest and recovery.

December: Reflection & Gratitude
The holiday season was lively with parties and gatherings. Although I was eager for the year to close, I carried with me lessons of resilience, self-compassion, and the importance of working smarter. I listened to my body, and by honoring my energy.

What the future brings?
2025 was a year of immense growth, self-discovery, and embracing my femininity & sensuality. I learned that true strength lies in knowing when to rest, say no, and honor my “EVOLVING” self. The snake’s energy taught me to shed what no longer serves me and to step into a new, confident chapter.

I am ready to welcome 2026, I do so with an open heart and full of hope. My plan is to be strong, confident, healthy, and in love with life. This journey has just begun, and I am excited for what’s next. Thank You 2025..but THANK YOU NEXT!

What does love really mean? While everyone has their own definition of love, and what it means to them. I think in the end, everyone just wants to love, to be loved and to feel loved. 

The five primary love languages include Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. 

What are the 5 Love Languages? 

Words of affirmation:

Typically, verbal expressions of love and appreciation, like compliments or kind, and supportive words. 

Acts of service:

Performed actions that demonstrates caring, such as helping others with tasks or doing something thoughtful. 

Receiving gifts:

Receiving physical tokens of love that make someone feel special, and important. 

Quality time:

Giving someone your full, undivided attention through meaningful interactions and shared experiences. Quality time essentially creates lasting memories together. 

Physical Touch:

The ooey gooey motions that include gestures like hugs, kisses, hand holding, intimacy or other forms of affectionate contact that can foster closeness, and unity.

My top love languages are quality time and physical touch, as they make ME feel deeply loved and connected. 

Quality time, especially one-on-one moments, allows me to feel completely present with someone, and making everything in the outside world fade away. I find being completely immersed by another person makes me feel like time stops, and the most important person in that moment is here with me. This is why quality time my favourite love language. 

Physical touch, is a close second favourite love language. From tight hugs, holding hands to gentle caresses, provides a sense of safety, being seen, and emotional healing. The act of kissing or being intimate heightens the love connection through shared breaths and movements. Two bodies moving as one body, one breath and one heartbeat. I love the way physical touch makes me feel. I feel all the sensations of warmth, peace and love. 

These expressions of love, especially when combined together, create a powerful and intoxicating experience. So, if you want to truly understand me, let’s spend some meaningful time together and then show each other affection through touch. I love the yummy deliciousness, of what human beings are meant to experience in life with love.

In a world that constantly pulls me in every direction, finding my Ikigai – the Japanese concept of life’s purpose or reason for being is always a transformative journey. 

Often, it’s in those quiet moments, when my eyes are closed. I take long deep breaths, I reconnect with my truest self, and rediscover what truly matters. 

These pauses serve as gentle reminders to listen inward, to reflect on passions, values, and aspirations, which guide me towards a life filled with meaning & fulfillment. 

Embracing Ikigai is not just about discovering life’s purpose; it’s about nurturing a sense of harmony and joy in EVERYDAY existence.

I embrace challenges, celebrate growth, and pursue what truly resonates with my soul. My existence is rooted in LOVE, and that is my Ikigai – the guiding purpose that fills my heart with joy and meaning. 

Absorbing the sunshine on my face, taking deep intentional breaths, and feeling the love that resides within me. 

I am grateful for the incredible people in my life who support and uplift me everyday. Whether it’s the work I do to heal others, the unconditional love of my family and friends, or simple pleasures like savoring ice cream on a hot summer day, listening to my favorite song on repeat, all of these moments bring me profound happiness. Watching sunsets, rollerskating with friends, sharing delicious kisses, and simply appreciating the beauty of existence all serve as reminders of the love that flows through me and connects me to the universe. 

My Ikigai is to feel this love deeply and embody it fully, radiating kindness and gratitude for simply being alive.

In a world filled with tumultuous emotions and nefarious interactions, safeguarding my energy and peace has become a priority in my life. As someone who identifies as an empathic healer, I often attract individuals who are in need of support or healing. 

While I wholeheartedly believe in altruism and the importance of lending a helping hand, I have learned through experience that it is equally necessary to protect my own well-being. 

Setting boundaries has become an essential practice in my daily life. It is not always easy, especially when those who seek my guidance include family members and close friends. However, I have realized that by saying “no” when I need to, I am able to preserve my own peace of mind. 

There are times when I find myself in conversations that completely drain me…not just physically but also, mentally and emotionally. These interactions are typically with the notorious energy vampires who thrive on negativity and complaints. It’s as if they have an unquenchable thirst for drama, and their presence can turn even the most joyful environment into a heavy negative space filled with anxiety and tension.

The phrase “negative Nancy” often comes to mind when I encounter these individuals who seem to take pleasure in pessimism. They are the ones who tend to overshadow the positive aspects of life, compelling those around them to spiral into a cycle of dissatisfaction, despair and constant complaining. While my compassionate nature urges me to help them, I’ve learned that I must do what is right for my own well-being.

Sometimes, the best form of support is to distance myself from these type of people who bring me down, even if that means creating necessary space between myself and loved ones.

In my circle of friends, I often notice a familiar pattern: there is usually one person who is always drawn to me, often the one who is most anxious or in need of healing. I have an innate desire to nurture and support everyone around me, but I have come to understand that I cannot pour from an empty cup. 

There are moments when I can lend my compassionate ear and provide guidance, but there are also times when I must recognize my limits. In those instances, I will often excuse myself from conversations or social gatherings that feel “too much” for me to handle. 

By mindfully acknowledging the energy I participate with, I am more equipped to offer my healing to those who genuinely seek it, rather than becoming an unwilling participant in a cycle of distress. 

It is not selfish to prioritize my own mental health and serenity; it is an essential act of self-care! I have come to understand that setting boundaries is a sign of love…not only for myself but also for those I care about. 

By removing myself from negative & toxic interactions, I create space for healthier relationships and more uplifting conversations.

In short, protecting my energy is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and insight. Setting boundaries, saying no, and learning to distance myself from negative influences has allowed me to cultivate a more peaceful and fulfilling life. 

It is essential to recognize that while I am a healer by nature, my primary responsibility is to nurture my own spirit first. By doing so, I create more positive energy that can genuinely benefit myself and those around me. 

Embracing this practice of self-care, empowers me to be the best version of myself while still being compassionate and supportive to others. Because of this, I continue to grow and thrive in a world that constantly demands my energy and attention.

I have been hearing “Emotional Clarity” a lot lately, and I decided to sit and meditate on what it means to me.

Emotional clarity has recently become a significant theme in my life, prompting me to reflect on its meaning as a body worker and energy healer. I’ve realized that, according to my Human Design as a Projector with emotional authority, I naturally absorb and amplity the emotions of everyone I work with, or even those who are around me.

In astrology, I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon and rising, my astrological chart embraces the depths of emotion, making me feel like an emotional rollercoaster at times. 

To achieve emotional clarity, I have learned that having a self care practice is essential. It is important that I keep up with my own daily meditation, breathwork practice and regular exercise, and when I’m overwhelmed, grounding myself in nature becomes a non-negotiable for my well-being.

There’s something incredibly magical about being barefoot on the ground; it’s as if I’m instantly rooted and connected to the Earth. I truly believe, negative energies simply dissipate, making way for a powerful recharging process direct from Mother Earth’s energy.

Because I understand reflexology, and how my feet are intricately linked to every part of my body. Each step I take on the natural surfaces seems to stimulate my nervous system, respiratory system and all the other systems. I automatically feel grounded, balanced, centered, and rejuvenated. This is not only, my physical but also my emotional reset.

Understanding my emotions has not always been easy. I have learned that I have to label, clarify, recognize my triggers and validate my emotions. Simply doing these actions brings me back to my emotional clarity.

My journey has transformed my perception of my emotions from vulnerability to a profound strength. This empowers me with my purpose to heal and support others. I am committed to embracing my emotions, and believing in their power to guide me as I fulfill my destiny as an “emotions” healer.

In our fast-paced world, cultivating gratitude can transform our perception about “happiness” from a fleeting emotion into a lifelong skill. 

Embracing hope and optimism fosters resilience. All the while, curiosity and generosity open doors to meaningful connections, and enrich our lives with a sense of wonder. 

By trusting in life’s rhythm, we celebrate the sacredness of every living moment and wonder that each day holds. We then can tap into a profound joy — our innate “joie de vivre.” 

As children of the universe, we choose to live in joy and embrace life’s little blessings by exploring, learning, and creating a rich tapestry of experiences both awe-inspiring and timeless. It is important to remember that we are ALL interconnected human beings, especially by our shared experiences.

Every person we meet carries a story—a thread linking us to our ancestors, urging us to pierce the veil of superficiality and cultivate a deep and meaningful connections.

In this celebration of grit and joy, let us welcome happiness not as a destination, but as a journey filled with moments that inspire, connect, and uplift us.

In a world where fear has no place, we are reminded to dive into our imagination, practice resilience, and nurture our relationships; after all, connection is vital, and family is essential. 

Family serves as our foundation, offering unconditional love and support throughout our lives, while friends can evolve into our chosen family, providing companionship, understanding, and shared experiences that enhance our sense of belonging. Both relationships enrich our lives, highlighting the importance of connection and community in navigating life’s challenges and joys.

Living with curiosity, and learning something new everyday is the true essence of a life fully lived and feeling alive. Happiness is a skill that can be learned and understood by anyone and everyone.

I hate to admit that I’ve been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. It’s like the words “I’m busy” have become my constant companion, always lurking in the background, making me feel guilty for not always being productive enough. Clearly, it has been really tough to keep up with my creative writing when life gets too overwhelming.

I have returned! I am here to acknowledge and recognize the importance of nurturing my creative side.

I feel like I have been running on a treadmill that never stops! I feel like I am losing myself in the process. Sometimes I feel so alone. I feel like, me being busy is the constant struggle with pressure to achieve and be successful. I am tired of always having to be “on” all the time. My body is actually screaming at me to slow the f*ck down! The human body is a temple, and it NEEDS rest, and tender loving care to function optimally.

I have multiple injuries, aches and pains all on the right side of my body. The right side of the body is associated with masculine energy. All right side pain indicates an imbalance in my inner masculine aspects, drive, achievements, and confidence. The accumulation of injuries on the right side may be a manifestation of suppressed or unprocessed emotions, thoughts, and experiences related to my inner male energies.

All humans have both feminine and masculine energies within us, sometimes referred to as yin and yang. Oftentimes, receiving and giving energies respectively. When there’s an imbalance between these energies, it can manifest into physical, emotional, mental issues, including injuries.

Because I can recognize that my body is not in alignment, I have decided to really embrace “Just Be” and simply just being present in the moment without judgement, without being too critical and free from distractions. I have to balance my energies and “doing nothing is plenty” and that is perfectly okay. I am letting go of the need to be constantly productive, and taking time to rest, be at peace, and be happy for simply existing. I ALLOW myself to JUST BREATHE!

Some ways that help me rebalance my yin and yang energies are creative writing, recording podcasts, sitting in meditation, practicing breathwork, tapping into my intuition, connecting to the earth by walking bare foot, and giving more heart to heart, tight armed hugs.

My productivity is not a measure of my worth, it is okay for me to take breaks, prioritize my self care, and focus on my overall well-being. I am more than my to-do list, and I will no longer sacrifice my wellbeing just to feel I am productive enough!

Listening goes beyond just hearing and requires the ability to embrace silence. The connection between the words “listen” and “silent” hints at the essence of true listening – the ability to appreciate the profound stillness and gaps between thoughts. This silence holds a certain magic and power that enables you to truly understand and connect with others.

When the noise is turned off, you are left with the thoughts and emotions that often go unheard and unaddressed amidst the distractions. This could include internal conflicts, unresolved issues, and deeper anxieties. By constantly seeking external stimulation and avoiding silence, individuals miss opportunities for self-reflection and understanding, leading to increased mental stress and the inability to properly address underlying emotional struggles.

When you turn off the noise and allow yourself to be in silence, your mind becomes more aware of the thoughts and emotions that have been simmering beneath the surface. This can lead to a replay of past situations and a tendency to engage in negative self-talk. By acknowledging and understanding these thoughts and emotions, it is possible to gain clarity and eventually find a sense of inner peace.

This constant pressure to measure up to societal expectations can lead to negative thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. It is important to challenge these beliefs and prioritize self-acceptance and self-care in order to find peace and contentment.

I fully believe with the “power of words” and the impact they have on our thoughts, beliefs, and ultimately, our reality. When we focus on gratitude and maintain a positive mindset, we attract more positivity and abundance into our lives. Choosing love over fear and approaching life with optimism can lead to the best outcomes and experiences.

By grounding yourself in the present moment, embracing silence, and cultivating self-trust and love, your words will carry a genuine power and conviction. Gratitude and a positive mindset will enable you to overcome self-doubt and transform your limiting beliefs into empowering affirmations that drive you to take action and achieve your goals.

Today, I encourage you to embrace solitude and eliminate distractions. Embrace discomfort and find solace in silence, and embrace what makes you unique by highlighting your strengths. Nurture self-love through positive words and mindset, and strive to become the best version of yourself.

This is a powerful and heartfelt message, reminding you that your worth is not determined by your achievements or actions, but by simply being YOURSELF. It encourages you to embrace and appreciate your individuality and to find greatness in the everyday moments of life. It also reminds you of your inherent worthiness and the love that surrounds you.

In a world filled with noise and constant chatter, silence can be a rare and valuable gift. Thank You for listening.

I would never let anyone say negative things about me, or put me down. I would most likely call someone out for being rude to me or my friends. Then why do I let my own negative thoughts live rent free in my brain? Most of the time, I’m a pretty positive person, and I always try to look on the bright side of things. Let’s be real though. Nobody is 100% positive all the time every time. I get mad. I get pissed off, and truthfully wish I could punch people in the face.

The way I navigate through negative thoughts, is something that I’ve learned over time. Sometimes life doesn’t always run as smoothly, or as perfectly as planned. Life can be beautifully chaotic, and life can be unpleasantly calm. There are so many unspoken thoughts that run through my mind. Sometimes my thoughts are negative. My overthinking thoughts are based on some logic, mostly feelings, mixed up emotions or even made up scenarios, that my mind creates from my vivid imagination.

I think it is important to recognize negative thoughts. Next Identify where the negative thoughts are coming from and why. For me it’s easy to change my thought pattern to a more positive outlook.

Here’s how I change my negative thoughts:

I filter out negative thoughts, comments or even the voices in my head…lol. I focus on compliments, my strengths and my ultimate end goals. I push through Negative Nancys, Debbie downers and anyone raining on my parade. Even if that negativity is coming from me!

I try to not take anything personally, or blame myself. Because sh*t happens and that’s okay. I don’t believe in holding grudges. Change of plans just means redirecting onto a new course. Live and learn.

I wake up every morning thinking it is going to be the best day! Whether it is or not. If something happens to upset my day, I allow myself to feel my feelings and step back to see if it’s really worth the worrying.

Life is not about being good or bad. It’s about being both. Sometimes you just have to ride the waves of life. Some days are perfect days, and some feel like the worst days.

I try to not take life so seriously. I laugh a lot and often. I laugh at myself when I make mistakes. I laugh at myself when the manifestations just keep flowing in. I laugh at myself when I get hurt. I laugh at life because, it makes no sense in making life full of stress.

I practice healthy habits to help deflect negative thoughts. My daily routine consists of morning meditation, breathwork, physical activity, nutritious food, getting enough sleep, setting boundaries, and getting outside in nature.

Lastly, I surround myself with positive, uplifting and supportive people. I love people who love life. It’s okay to complain about life, because everyday is different than yesterday. But, in the end is complaining really worth it? Life is meant for embracing. I turn down the volume of negativity, and turn up the positive. Because I enjoy life. It’s ALL really worth living.

It takes more than an attitude of gratitude to really feel enough. I believe it is more of an attitude of plentitude. It doesn’t matter what you do, have or achieve but WHO you are as a person, that matters most. When you live life with abundance and know you ARE enough, LIFE becomes an incredibly valuable human experience.

I’ll admit that I am an overachiever. I am constantly trying to find new ways to become a better human being. Whether it is taking a multitude of certification courses to better myself, help my clients or boost my career. Sometimes, I’m even physically pushing my body well beyond its limits to see what I’m capable of doing. I often wonder, if I ever will get to a point where enough is enough.

Sure, I’d be lying if I said my life was perfect. I do wish my life was different. But, it has never been a question of whether or not if I am enough. Because I know, I am enough. You are enough. There is enough. I enthusiastically love life, and the life that I live everyday. I have learned a lot about myself throughout my ageing years, and my existence on this planet.

I am at a point in my life where I understand that I AM more than enough. At the end of the day, the only questions I ask myself are…Did I love enough? Did I laugh enough? Did I make a difference? My life has been pretty interesting to say the least. I really cannot complain. I am grateful for all the people, experiences and even challenges that have shaped me into who I am today.

I am trying to embrace my “Enoughness” by authentically living life as if the whole world is mine. It is important to realize, that I am not lacking in any shape, way or form. I am grateful for what I have, and what I can do. Life brings me joy, happiness and pleasure. But, it also brings me pain, sadness and suffering. In pursuit of a perfect life, I remember that I am already enough.

Life is enough.